Respectfully Decline: Mastering the Art of Saying ‘No’

Reminder: Productivity = Effectiveness + Efficiency

To be effective, focus your energy, time, and resources in the right place.

We discussed the Addition by Subtraction method last week, emphasizing the need to remove time-consuming activities that don’t contribute to your north star goal. Avoid replacing them with other unproductive activities. This enables you to channel your resources to the right things.

Today’s topic focuses on another method to help you ensure your to-do list is as concise as possible, capturing only your most important daily tasks.

Saying NO

Let’s face it, this is a very difficult thing to do when you get a request from:

• Friends and family

• Your boss

• Clients

• Other professionals

However, you know your goals, schedule, and availability better than anyone else, so you are responsible for ensuring you have a manageable schedule.

It is also sometimes difficult when people say NO to your requests, but it’s an important way to set boundaries, and you should respect their decision.

Reasons Why It Is Good to Say NO and Have a Manageable Schedule:

• Prevents overload and burnout

• Prevents you from failing on things you’ve committed to

• Allows you to deliver quality work over quantity

• Helps you manage your relationships better

Most times, the problem is not saying NO, but how well you communicate it.

I recently had to say NO to an opportunity that would give me more money but deviate from my north star goal for this month.

I was able to do this without damaging the relationship with a potential client. I have captured the communication structure I used to say No:

1. Listen to the Request: This shows you care.

2. Think Carefully: Use your preferred prioritization method to decide if this is important for you to do. If you are not clear, kindly ask for more time to think about it. You don’t have to decide on the spot.

3. Thank Them: Thank them for reaching out to you.

4. Explain Your Situation: Let them know that you are currently occupied with other priorities that demand your attention.

5. Suggest Alternatives: If possible, think of someone else or another solution they can explore. Reach out to the person to ask if they are available to take it.

6. Future Availability: Let them know if you have time in the future, you’ll be open to looking at this request.

7. Wish Them Well: Finally, wish them well in getting it solved.

The tone will vary depending on your relationship with the person. Feel free to bring in your communication style.

With this, you’ll be able to keep your to-do list as simple and goal-oriented as possible.

While preparing for this newsletter, I decided to check for other frameworks that people can use. Here are some I found:

1. The D.E.C.I.D.E. Framework

   • Define Your Priorities: This helps you understand what activities align with your objectives.

   • Evaluate the Request: Ask yourself if it will help you achieve your goals or if it’s a distraction.

   • Communicate Clearly: Politely but firmly say “No.” You can use phrases like, “I appreciate the offer, but I need to focus on [your priority].”

   • Involve Alternatives: If possible, suggest an alternative. For example, “I can’t help with this right now, but maybe [another person] can assist you.”

   • Decide and Stick to It: Once you’ve made your decision, stick to it. Avoid second-guessing yourself.

   • Express Gratitude: Thank the person for understanding. This helps maintain a positive relationship.

2. The A.I.R Framework

   • Acknowledge: Recognize the request and show appreciation.

   • Inform: Explain your current commitments or priorities.

   • Redirect: Suggest an alternative solution or person.

3. The S.T.O.P Framework

   • State Your Position: Clearly and politely state your decision

   • Thank Them: Show gratitude for the opportunity.

   • Offer an Explanation: Briefly explain why you can’t commit.

   • Propose Alternatives: Suggest other ways to meet their needs.

4. The B.E.A.R Framework

   • Be Honest: Be truthful about your capacity.

   • Empathize: Show understanding of their situation.

   • Assert Your Boundaries: Clearly state your limits.

   • Recommend Alternatives: Suggest other resources or people.

Example:

Request: “Can you help me with this project?”

D.E.C.I.D.E Response: “Thank you for thinking of me. I’m currently focused on [your priority], so I won’t be able to assist with this project. Perhaps [another person] could help?”

A.I.R Response: “Thank you for considering me for this. I’m currently focused on [your priority]. Perhaps [another person] could assist you.”

S.T.O.P Response: “I’m unable to take this on right now. Thank you for thinking of me. I have other priorities that need my attention. Maybe we can revisit this next month.”

B.E.A.R Response: ”I’m currently at full capacity. I understand this is important. I can’t take on additional tasks right now. You might want to reach out to [another person].”

This Week’s Productivity Challenge

1. List all activities you said No to: Reflect on the past week and jot down every activity or event you declined.

2. Reason for saying No: Next to each activity, note down the reason why you chose to say No. This could be due to time constraints, lack of interest, or other commitments.

3. Activities to reconsider: Identify the activities you would like to attend in the future. Assign a specific month to each of these activities when you plan to revisit them.